10 Ways You Can Tell EMDR Therapy Is Working
What is EMDR therapy, exactly? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured, evidence-based psychotherapy approach designed to process and heal from difficult or traumatic memories. Originally developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR is now widely recognized as one of the most effective treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other trauma-related patterns. Unlike some of the more traditional forms of talk therapy, EMDR does not require clients to recount every detail of the traumatic experience. Instead, it works by activating the brain's natural healing mechanisms through bilateral stimulation such as guided eye movements, holding vibrating buzzers in each hand, and/or hearing auditory tones while recalling distressing memories in a safe and controlled environment. I explain to my clients it’s like having one foot in the safety of the present and one foot in the past in order to give our mind an opportunity to reconsolidate difficult memories.
The theory behind EMDR therapy is rooted in the idea that difficult or adverse experiences can get "stuck" or frozen in the brain, causing ongoing emotional distress that can interfere with our ability to live fully in the present. These can be BIG traumas like a car accident, sexual violence, or a life threatening injury. They can also be smaller yet still difficult experiences of being treated unfairly or rejected by others, or feeling that we’ve consistently let others down or made everyone uncomfortable. EMDR helps "unstick" these memories, allowing the brain to reprocess them in a way that is less emotionally charged and more adaptive. As the brain does this work, clients often find that the thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations associated with the trauma begin to shift. What once felt overwhelming and still alive in the present can start to feel more manageable.
Because EMDR operates differently than many forms of therapy, progress may not always look or feel familiar. I use a form of EMDR called the Adaptive Information Processing Model (AIP). The theory is that a variety of severe traumatic experiences can get clustered together by the brain with smaller life events and even day-to-day mundane experiences that hold some sort of reminder of the original experience. My early training likened the thousands of memories we hold in our minds to a forest of trees. Some of the trees are darker, made of up a cluster of memories that the brain has linked together. These dark trees can take root in early childhood, before we have even gained conscious awareness, and can branch out and form clusters of leaves and flowers throughout each stage of life.
A few months into traditional talk therapy, clients sometimes wonder if the work they’re doing is really getting to the root of the issue. For those in the early stages of EMDR therapy, as the nervous system recalibrates and previously distressing material becomes easier to hold, there are clear signs that healing is underway.
My clients often ask: "How will I know if it's working?" EMDR therapy doesn’t rely on retelling every painful memory. It can feel strange in the initial phases, creating a map of the forest and the trees and choosing an area to work on first. In later phases of EMDR therapy, sessions can feel even more foreign — following eye movements and holding vibrating buzzers while recalling memories from the past. It's normal to wonder if anything is really happening. EMDR has its own rhythm, and the changes can feel subtle at first.
Here are 10 signs that EMDR therapy is helping you heal and move forward:
1. The memory feels less shattering
That traumatic memory that once played like a movie on repeat, triggering a wave of panic and dread? It starts to feel more distant. You can still recall what happened, but it doesn't flood your nervous system in the same way or make you wince in pain. It might feel like you're remembering something from long ago, or you may be able to view it from another vantage point that you couldn’t access before.
2. You respond differently to old triggers
Situations or people that once sent you into a spiral now feel more manageable. Your heart doesn't race wildly when you see that particular kind of text. You can drive past that intersection without your body tensing up. The pain might never go away, but it doesn’t take your breath away like it once did.
3. Your baseline emotional charge is a little lower
That irritability. It’s not completely diminished but it’s manageable. You’re not at a breaking point at the slightest provocation. You may still find yourself falling into old patterns of thinking. You’ll feel the tug of those old emotional hooks, but they don't bring on the same intensity, like your nervous system is on fire. The sharp edges begin to soften.
4. You’re not stuck in that same old thought loop
Rumination slows down. You don’t get stuck in the same mental script or self-blame loop over and over. It's not that your mind is blank, it's that you're no longer replaying the same scene for hours, wondering what you could or should have done differently. It takes time, but you’ll find yourself catching yourself earlier and pulling yourself out of the old narrative.
5. Your body feels less reactive
Trauma is stored in the body, and one of the earliest signs of healing is a subtle shift in how your body holds tension. You may notice your shoulders relaxing, or maybe you feel yourself drawing in deeper breaths and letting out longer exhales. You have fewer headaches. Or you feel your body letting go of the urge to bolt out of the room or knock someone’s coffee mug out of their hand.
6. You notice new thoughts or insights
When you find yourself backed into a familiar corner, a different narrative might pop into your awareness: "I can tolerate it when everything feels out of my control," or, "My needs matter just as much as everyone else’s." These moments feel honest, not forced, like something deep inside of you is finally getting the message.
7. You have more capacity in your relationships
You may find yourself being a little more patient with your partner, more open with your friends, and less guarded with your coworkers. It's not just that you're trying harder or finally practicing those worksheets on communication skills. You’re not expending quite as much energy managing the urge to snap at others or shut down completely. You finally feel a sense of calm even when you’re in a room full of people.
8. Your sleep starts to improve, and dreams begin to shift
Your thoughts aren’t racing at 11pm. You aren’t jolted awake at 3am, right on cue. You might notice fewer nightmares, and your dreams feel less intense and confusing. You start to notice how much smoother a morning routine can be when you wake up feeling refreshed and at ease, rather than fatigued with puffy eyes and a heavy sense of dread.
9. You feel more present
Instead of dissociating or mentally checking out, you’re able to stick it out and stay present, even in moments of frustration or overwhelm. You notice the breeze, taste subtle flavors in the sauce you’re cooking, and laugh at the sound of pebbles crunching under your feet. The idea of staying present doesn’t sound as woo woo as it once did.
10. You’re curious about what’s next
Healing isn’t just about letting go of pain, it’s about creating space for something new. You may begin to feel a renewed sense of possibility: deeper connections, new ideas that spark something inside of you, getting back to that thing you once loved, or simply more room to breathe.
If you’re experiencing any of these shifts, even subtly, it’s a good sign that EMDR is working. And if you're not noticing these yet, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t helping. Healing takes time and EMDR tends to work in layers. Sometimes progress is quiet before it gets loud.
If you’re interested in learning more about my style of EMDR therapy, contact me for a complimentary consultation. I offer in-person sessions in San Francisco and Marin, and online therapy throughout California, North Carolina, and Florida.
