The Magic of Weaving Together the Values That Drive Me

Art making and strengthening a sense of community. These are two of my highest values. When I was in graduate school, I had the opportunity to travel to Nicaragua twice over the course of two years to meet with community leaders and discuss (and experience) how art making can foster a deeper sense of community. These were some of the most powerful experiences in my graduate school training, and in my work as an art therapist. 

When I find opportunities to bring together the things I value most, I experience a deep sense of awe. The experience in Nicaragua brought together more than just art making and building community.  I was able to deepen my experience of curiosity in getting to experience the food, the culture, and the local markets we visited in Granada. There were opportunities for learning through attending talks by elders about the history of the community, and through spending time with the mayor who was only 28 years old at the time. I deepened my passion for adventure during a small boat tour of the volcanic islands in Lake Nicaragua, getting to swim in a volcano crater lake, and checking out the local zip line where the locals recommend zipping down upside down. Which I tried, of course.

When I begin working with a new client in my psychotherapy practice in San Francisco, I ask about values. Some of the initial responses I receive might include family, friendship, and perhaps a passion like music. These are important, of course, but I’m curious about the things that are more difficult to pinpoint. The values that drive us. Creativity. Meaningful work. Authenticity. Service. Courage. Movement. We can identify when something is a value when we can see a thread woven throughout our past experiences, especially in the memories that are most significant or meaningful. And when we stray too far from our values, there’s usually a visceral feeling; for me there’s a dull hum that I’m missing something.

Every few months, I take some time to reflect on my values and determine whether the choices I’m making are in alignment with what’s most important to me. If there’s a gap or a void, I try my best to get back into alignment. 

When I find opportunities to bring together several of my values in one experience, I grasp it with both hands. The discovery of trail running has allowed me to deepen my values of nature, connection, community, competition, and adventure. Living in a tiny house for four years allowed me to experience simplicity, adaptability, independence, and self-discipline. At times, I stop to remember how scrambled my brain feels when I haven’t dedicated time and space for creativity by drawing in my sketchbook, writing, or listening to live music.

What makes you feel alive?

Brene Brown put together a list of values you can use for inspiration if you aren’t certain about what you'd list as your own, what drives you, or what you find meaningful. Visit BreneBrown.com to download the PDF.

Brene Brown developed a list of values you can use for inspiration.

• Brene Brown's List of Values

  Accountability
  Achievement
  Adaptability
  Adventure
  Altruism
  Ambition
  Authenticity
  Balance
  Beauty
  Being the best
  Belonging
  Career
  Caring
  Collaboration
  Commitment
  Community
  Compassion
  Competence
  Confidence
  Connection
  Contentment
  Contribution
  Cooperation
  Courage
  Creativity
  Curiosity
  Dignity
  Diversity
  Environment
  Efficiency
  Equality
  Ethics
  Excellence
  Fairness
  Faith
  Family
  Financial stability
  Forgiveness
  Freedom
  Friendship

  Fun
  Future generations
  Generosity
  Giving back
  Grace
  Gratitude
  Growth
  Harmony
  Health
  Home
  Honesty
  Hope
  Humility
  Humor
  Inclusion
  Independence
  Initiative
  Integrity
  Intuition
  Job security
  Joy
  Justice
  Kindness
  Knowledge
  Leadership
  Learning
  Legacy
  Leisure
  Love
  Loyalty
  Making a difference
  Nature
  Openness
  Optimism
  Order
  Parenting
  Patience
  Patriotism
  Peace
  Perseverance

  Personal fulfillment
  Power
  Pride
  Recognition
  Reliability
  Resourcefulness
  Respect
  Responsibility
  Risk-taking
  Safety
  Security
  Self-discipline
  Self-expression
  Self-respect
  Serenity
  Service
  Simplicity
  Spirituality
  Sportsmanship
  Stewardship
  Success
  Teamwork
  Thrift
  Time
  Tradition
  Travel
  Trust
  Truth
  Understanding
  Uniqueness
  Usefulness
  Vision
  Vulnerability
  Wealth
  Well-being
  Wholeheartedness
  Wisdom

Visit BreneBrown.com to download the PDF

When treating depression and anxiety, one of my favorite concepts is called behavioral activation. The idea is to identify what is most meaningful to you, and find opportunities to go out and experience that thing. Of course, cycles of avoidance and negative thinking can make this much more difficult than it sounds. When we’re struggling, we won’t be in the mood or have the energy for it. But if we can find a way to do it anyway, this is one of the best ways to feel better.

If you are a highly sensitive person, designing a life in which you get to live out the values that are most meaningful to you will have a significant impact on your mental health and well being. If you’re interested in working through social anxiety, overthinking, or imposter syndrome, which can get in the way of participating in the activities you find most meaningful, contact me to schedule a complementary 20-minute consultation. I’ve been there. For athletes or outdoor enthusiasts who find themselves unable to engage in the adventures you’ve been planning for yourself due to injury or another obstacle, I can help you work through the sense of dread and loss you’re inevitably feeling. EMDR and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy might help.

Contact me to schedule a complementary consultation.